It's All About the Lessons

Over the last few years I've realized that we get bogged down in minutae that no one ever remembers.

For example, in 2009 or so, I gave my son an ultimatum: stop doing blah-blah or you will have to move out. I remember the ultimatum and his drama-king response, I don't remember the why. The lesson in this was about setting boundaries.

In 2017, I was in Sedona with two of my daughters. I thought one of my daughters was taking advantage of my largesse. I got kind-of testy (b*tchy might be another term.) My other daughter called me on it. It got worked out for the evening but never resolved. For the next five years I would think about this at night and fell bad. As I'm sure you know, those moments when you're overwhelmed with guilt always happen in the middle of the night when you're falling asleep, causing you to beat yourself up and not being able to resolve it. Finally, in 2022, before my daughter passed away, I sent her a text apologizing. Her response was "I don't remember that at all. But I do remember that I wouldn't have had so many wonderful trips and adventures if it weren't for you. Thank you for that." Her loveliness shone in that message. Her ability to see beyond the positive is the lesson. And for me, it was to discuss things with those I love way earlier and to air them out. Negative emotions do not belong in our repertoire of memories. Negative emotions should not shape our today.

One of the lessons I've learned from all of this is that we are responsible for receiving our lessons. I could have stayed angry with my son and let the anger resonate with me in the pit of my stomach and never gotten the lesson.

Look for the lesson and forgive. Namaste.